A Sleep Consultant’s Advice for Exhausted Moms
Nobody prepares you for the tired. Not really. People joke about it, warn you about it, tell you to "sleep now while you can," but nothing quite captures what it actually feels like to be running on two broken hours of sleep and still have a whole day ahead of you.
And somehow, in the middle of that bone-deep exhaustion, everyone has an opinion about what you should be doing differently. Don't rock them too much or you'll create a bad habit. Let them cry. Don't let them cry. Sleep when the baby sleeps. The advice is endless, and most of it is conflicting.
I'm not a mom yet - still in the season of preparing for that next chapter - but I've talked to enough of my friends in the thick of it to know that the exhaustion is real, and so is the noise surrounding it. That's where Katie Eppley, a Certified Newborn Sleep Consultant (CNSS), comes in.
Katie found this line of work through her own postpartum journey with sleep deprivation, anxiety, and depression, and she doesn't sugarcoat it.
"During the first few months of my postpartum journey, I was severely sleep-deprived. Sleep deprivation worsened my postpartum anxiety and depression, which was honestly one of the hardest times of my life."
The toll wasn't just emotional. After not sleeping for six days, Katie was hospitalized and diagnosed with Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, a heart condition triggered by intense physical or emotional stress that weakened her heart's left ventricle and caused serious chest pain.
"Isn't it wild that lack of sleep can actually affect your body that much?!" she said.
It is. And it's a sobering reminder that postpartum sleep deprivation isn't just a rite of passage, it's a real health concern that deserves real attention. It's also what drives the way she shows up for the families she works with. "Often, when families reach out to me, they are exhausted, frustrated and desperate to help their child sleep so they can sleep too. I've been in their shoes, so I know what it's like — it sucks!"
If you've spent any time on the internet, in a mom group, or like me, even just talking with your own parents, you've probably encountered some version of these "rules." Katie is here to gently debunk them.
Myth #1: Always rocking, feeding, or helping your newborn to sleep creates bad habits.
This one causes a lot of unnecessary guilt, and according to Katie, it's just not true. "You truly cannot create bad sleep habits, especially in those first few months of life. Babies are new to this world and need assistance with sleep. Lots of contact naps, babywearing, rocking, and feeding to sleep is sometimes needed, and that's okay!" Her suggestion is to gently sprinkle in independent sleep skills when your baby is calm, like laying them down in the bassinet at bedtime or for the first nap of the day. If they fuss, try comforting them for a few minutes before picking them up. Small, consistent efforts add up.
Myth #2: When your baby is sleeping, you should be as quiet as possible to avoid waking them.
Katie says the opposite is actually more helpful during the day. Babies are born with day-night confusion, and their circadian rhythm hasn't fully developed yet. She recommends keeping things light and bright during the day with normal speaking voices, and then keeping nights dark and low-stimulation. Those contrast cues help babies learn the difference between day and night.
Myth #3: Your baby should be sleeping through the night by a few months old.
This is perhaps the most damaging myth in my opinion because it sets parents up to feel like they're failing when their baby is doing something completely normal. "Every single baby is different," Katie said. Instead of fixating on a full night's sleep, she encourages families to focus on slowly lengthening that first long stretch, through full daytime feeds and practicing putting your baby down awake when possible.
I asked Katie for some practical advice for parents in those early weeks, and she recommends learning your baby’s sleepy cues and understanding their wake windows - the amount of time a newborn can comfortably stay awake between naps before becoming overtired. “Both of these can help prevent overtiredness, which can be one of the biggest game changers for newborns,” she said.
She also suggests keeping a simple, predictable bedtime routine from the start. It doesn't have to be elaborate - a bath, a feed, pajamas, a swaddle, some rocking and singing. Repetition is the point. "A simple routine can help your baby wind down and signal that it's time for sleep," she said.
And about that phrase "drowsy but awake?" Katie's not a fan. "I like to think, 'calm and awake.'" Put your baby down when they're awake so they have the chance to practice falling asleep on their own. They'll probably fuss, and that's okay. "Help them, but give them the chance to try to fall asleep in their crib or bassinet with your help."
A lot of parents assume working with a sleep consultant means leaving their baby to cry it out. Katie wants to clear that up. "Working with a sleep consultant does not mean your child will have to 'cry it out.' There are many different types of responsive sleep training methods that can help your child sleep better." The most important thing, she says, is finding someone you genuinely connect with and trust, someone who understands your goals and can hold you accountable when it gets hard.
That said, sleep training isn't for everyone, and Katie is the first to say so. "If it isn't broken, don't fix it. Even if your child wakes a few times a night, if you're fine with that, keep doing what you're doing, until it stops working."
Whatever stage you're in, she wants you to know it's never too late.
"There's no point where you're doomed and can never fix your child's sleep. You can always work on it and improve. I talk with SO many families who are all in the same boat, just looking to get more sleep and feel more like themselves."
That last part, feel more like themselves, stuck with me. I'm not in the thick of it yet, but talking to Katie made me realize there's no shame in asking for help. Feeling tired is real. And so is the support.
Katie offers Bloom U workshops: Sleepless to Serene (0–4 months), Sleep Struggles (4 months–2 years), and Bedtime Battles (3–6 years). A low-commitment way to get informed and ask personalized questions.
To work with Katie Eppley one-on-one, visit Cuddlebug Pediatric Sleep Consulting.
Veronica Myers
Communications Manager
Bloom Pediatrics
