Potty Training 101: A Mama Coach’s Guide to Getting Started (Without the Stress)
By Fervy Jimenez, RN - The Mama Coach
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re somewhere between, “My child is definitely ready…” and “Why is this suddenly the hardest thing we’ve ever done?”
Take a deep breath. Potty training is a big milestone, but it doesn’t have to feel like a power struggle, a pressure-filled deadline, or a messy mystery you’re expected to solve alone. As a nurse and Mama Coach, my goal is to help you approach potty training in a way that’s developmentally appropriate, realistic, and supportive for both you and your child.
Let’s walk through the basics.
Step 1: Readiness Matters More Than Age
One of the biggest myths is that potty training should happen by a certain birthday. In reality, success usually comes down to physical, cognitive, and emotional readiness.
Here are common signs your child may be ready:
Stays dry for longer stretches (about 2+ hours) or wakes up dry from naps
Can follow simple directions (like “bring me your shoes”)
Seems aware of peeing/pooping (hides, pauses, tells you, or looks uncomfortable)
Can pull pants up/down with some independence
Shows curiosity about the bathroom or wants to copy you
Doesn’t melt down at every change in routine (some flexibility is helpful!)
If your child is nearing age 3 and showing some of these signs, you’re in a great place to begin gently. If your child is younger and not showing readiness yet, that’s okay too, waiting can actually make training faster and smoother.
Step 2: Pick the Right “Start Plan” for Your Child
There isn’t one perfect method. The best plan is the one that matches your child’s temperament and your household reality.
In general, you have a few options:
1) Gradual approach (low pressure):
Introduce the potty, practice sits, talk about it, and build comfort before you expect results.
2) “Dedicated weekend” approach:
A more focused start with lots of potty opportunities at home over 2–3 days.
3) Daycare-aligned approach:
Some families prefer to start once daycare is ready to reinforce the same routine.
No matter which you choose, consistency is your best friend. It’s less about intensity and more about repeating the same routine in a calm way
Step 3: Set Up Your Potty Training Environment
You don’t need every gadget online, just the basics will make your child feel safe and successful.
Helpful items:
A small floor potty or a toilet seat insert with a stable step stool
Easy-on/easy-off clothing (think elastic waist pants)
Underwear your child is excited about (save it for when you’re ready to start!)
A small basket in the bathroom: wipes, extra clothes, books, sticker chart if you want
A plan for outings (spare clothes, a travel potty or seat insert, plastic bags)
Pro tip: Make sure their feet are supported (on a stool or floor). Feeling “stable” helps kids relax, especially for poop.
Step 4: Teach the Routine (Instead of Asking Constantly)
Many kids get overwhelmed by repeated questions like, “Do you have to go? Are you sure? Try right now!”
Instead, build a routine with predictable potty chances:
After waking up
Before leaving the house
Before nap/bed
After meals
Before bath
Use simple, confident language:
“It’s potty time.”
“Pee goes in the potty.”
“Let’s try, then we’ll go play.”
Keep it neutral. You’re teaching a skill, not testing them.
Step 5: Accidents Are Information, Not Failure
Accidents are part of the learning curve. Your child is literally connecting body signals to a new behavior. When accidents happen, your response matters more than the accident itself.
Try:
“You peed in your pants. Pee goes in the potty. We’ll try again next time.”
“Let’s get cleaned up.”
Avoid:
Shame (“Why did you do that?”)
Big reactions (even frustration can accidentally create anxiety)
Punishment (it can lead to withholding, especially with poop)
If you stay calm, your child learns: This is safe. I can keep trying.
Step 6: The Poop Piece (The One Nobody Warns You About)
Many children learn pee first and then get stuck on poop. This is incredibly common.
Reasons kids resist pooping on the potty:
Fear of the sensation
Feeling unstable on the toilet
Constipation (even mild constipation can derail training)
Anxiety about “letting go”
If poop becomes a battle, pause and troubleshoot. In my coaching, we look at:
Stool consistency and constipation signs
Bathroom posture and foot support
Routine timing (many kids poop after meals)
Gentle, consistent strategies to reduce fear
If constipation is present, it’s important to address it as potty training and constipation don’t mix well.
Step 7: Night Training Is a Separate Milestone
This is a big one: night dryness is largely hormonal and developmental, not something kids can “train” the same way. Many children are dry overnight closer to ages 4–7, and that can still be normal.
Focus first on daytime success, then revisit nights later when your child is consistently waking dry or staying dry overnight.
Common Pitfalls I See (That You Can Avoid)
Starting during major life changes (new baby, move, travel, daycare switch)
Switching methods every few days
Expecting perfection too quickly
Ignoring constipation
Turning potty training into a control battle
The goal is progress, not perfection.
If You Want Support, You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Potty training can bring up a surprising amount of stress, because it’s not just about your child’s readiness. It’s also about your schedule, childcare, outings, sleep, and your own bandwidth.
As a Mama Coach and RN, I help families create a plan that actually fits their child and their lifestyle so you can stop googling at midnight and start feeling confident in what to do next.
Fervy Jimenez, RN The Mama Coach
Fervy Jimenez, RN
Fervy is Michigan’s pioneering Certified Mama Coach with 14 years of experience as a registered nurse and a mom of two wonderful boys. You can find Fervy as a resource as our Bloom U expert leading her monthly virtual workshop, Potty Training 101.