Intro to Sleep Training and Common Methods
By: Katie Eppley, MEd, CNSS, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Owner of Cuddlebug Sleep Consulting
The main purpose of sleep training is to teach your child the skill of falling asleep independently. Once your child has mastered this skill, it’s SO helpful to get them to sleep those longer stretches for both naps and nighttime sleep.
Sleep props are anything that your child uses to help them fall asleep. Lots of times, the most common sleep props that parents use to help babies fall asleep are things like rocking to sleep, bouncing to sleep, feeding to sleep, etc.
These sleep props are NOT bad things at all! However, when your baby becomes 100% dependent on them and can’t fall asleep on their own, it means that the parent always has to be present to put them to sleep or back to sleep (thus the multiple night wakings, short naps, etc.)
Sleep training makes it so that your child learns independent sleep skills and can put themselves back to sleep, without always needing someone else to help them.
What are important things to know about the sleep training process?
I know I already mentioned this, but CONSISTENCY is key when it comes to sleep training. I can’t tell you how many families I’ve talked with who tell me that they tried sleep training, it didn’t work for them, so they just gave up.
No matter what method you’re doing you HAVE to keep it consistent to how you respond to your child when they wake for both naps, bedtime and nighttime wakings. If you don’t keep it consistent, it actually makes it harder for both you and your child in the long run because they get confused. They end up thinking why is mommy or daddy sometimes picking me up and rocking me or sometimes not? When you keep things consistent, that is when you will see change!
Usually the process of sleep training takes about two weeks. Again, every child is different, so depending on the method used and the child, it may be shorter or longer.
Crying is unfortunately part of the sleep training process. If there was a “no-cry” option, every single person would be doing this because no one likes to hear their child cry. When you sleep train, you are changing from your child’s normal sleep routine and how they are being put to sleep.
Change for anyone is tough to get used to, not just for babies and children, but even adults too. When your child cries, for lots of babies, it is their only way of communicating, so their crying is a way of protesting this change. If your child is healthy, fed, and changed, their needs are met!
The last thing that I think is important to remember that I share with every family I work with is that “it’s going to get worse before it gets better.” The first few nights of sleep training can be really tough. Your child is going to protest THE MOST during these first few nights. Usually by night 4 or 5 is when you see the amount and/or intensity of protest start to change.
What are some common Sleep Training Methods?
When it comes to sleep training, I believe there is not a “one size fits all approach”. Depending on the parents, the child’s temperament and other factors, one type of sleep training method may work better than another.
Sleep training methods range from gentle, intermediate to firm. The gentler the sleep training method, the more gradual the process. The more firm the sleep training method, the quicker the process.
I often get the question, which type of sleep training is the easiest? Well, to be honest, no sleep training method is a walk in the park. Gentler or even intermediate sleep training methods often work best for families who are transitioning from co-sleeping or who are really not comfortable with leaving their child at all throughout the process.
However, this type of sleep training process can often take longer, meaning a longer period of crying/protest, because it’s a more gradual approach.
More firm methods of sleep training work great for parents who are looking to “rip the band aid off” and get their child to sleep. This type of method often works faster, meaning you see results quicker.
I want you to remember that sleep is like a puzzle; there are many pieces to figuring out your child’s sleep. The sleep training method is definitely an important piece of figuring out sleep, but looking at other things such as sleep environment, calories consumed, the child’s health, the child’s developmental milestones, their total daytime and night sleep as well as wake windows and routines are also super important!
General Overview of Gentle Sleep Methods
5 S’s - stands for Swaddle, Side/stomach position, shushing, swaying and sucking. Works great with newborns (0-3 months)
Shush and Pat - great for 0-6 months. Use hushing sound and patting on babies back/bum to slowly calm baby to sleep.
Pick up / put down - great for 4-6 months. Usually use this once shush/pat has been tried. First try comforting verbally, then pick up if needed to soothe and put down once calm.
Crib-side comforting - good for any age. Using any type of comforting while your baby lies in the crib to help soothe them (hand on chest, stroking forehead or nose, holding hand, singing, shushing, etc.)
Pantley Pull-Off - used for babies who are highly dependent on the paci or feeding to sleep. Once baby is drowsy, gently remove the paci, breast or bottle nipple and comfort as needed. Gradually reduce the amount of time the baby sucks to eliminate the sleep prop completely.
General Overview of Intermediate Sleep Training Methods (formal sleep training)
Quick Checks - use a set period of interval timers to check in on the baby, using a key phrase and comfort when you check in on them.
Crib-side comforting with intervals - Using comfort to soothe baby while stepping away for a few minutes at a time.
Chair in the room - great for parents who don’t want to leave their child alone. Sit in a chair next to the crib until the baby falls asleep and then leave the room. Each night, move the chair farther from the crib until it’s completely out of the room.
General Overview of Firmer Sleep Training Methods (formal sleep training)
Ferber Method / Graduated Extinction - Use of set intervals that gradually increase in length through the night & over several days.
Modified Ferber Method - Modifying the set intervals of the ferber method to something that the parent feels more comfortable with.
“Cry it Out”/ Full Extinction - Use a key phrase, kiss child goodnight, leave room and don’t return until the morning.
*This is not a method that I practice with clients, however it is a sleep training method that is available and works for some families.
Sleep Training: Four Most Common Misconceptions
Sleep Training = cry it out. As stated above, this is one method of sleep training, but is not the only way to sleep train your child. There are many other responsive methods to use!
Sleep Training means your child sleeps through the night. Most often this is the case, however I’ve worked with many families where we sleep train their child and still keep a feed (either because of the pediatrician's recommendations or because of parental preference)!
Once you sleep train, your child will never have sleep issues again. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Sleep training allows your child to learn the skill of independent sleep and get to a great place with sleep, but there are bumps in the road that happen such as travel, teething, sleep regressions and sickness. Re-sleep training and learning/understanding balance is key to getting your child back on track with sleep once they have been sleep trained prior.
Once you sleep train, you can’t cuddle or snuggle your baby anymore. This is not true at all! During the sleep training process, snuggling/cuddling won’t be happening as often as it used to. However, after two weeks of sleep training, I love to use the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time, you keep their normal way of being put down independently, and the other 20% you cuddle and snuggle them. This keeps a good balance!
Katie Eppley, MEd, CNSS
Written by Katie Eppley
Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant and Owner of Cuddlebug Sleep Consulting